Different Types of Love

How often do we use the word “love” in a day? We use it to show affection, enthusiasm, and joy for the people and things in our lives. While the word may be the same, the way we use it differentiates: one doesn’t necessarily love their favorite book like they love their partner. 
​
Love exists in different forms. The Greeks actually used about six different words for the various kinds of love. Identifying love in it’s multiple forms can help us write realistic relationships, romantic or otherwise.

1. Eros
   This is your sensual love, possibly bordering on lust. Named after the Greek God, eros encapsulates desire. It’s the fiery passion that flushes your face and shuts off all rational thinking. This love might be among the most physical, with sexual passion fueling its fire.
   
   Since logic goes out the window, this type of love can be dangerous. It might even be what the phrase “madly in love” refers to. Whenever Zeus descended Mount Olympus to tangle with the mortals, eros probably sent him down the mountain.
   
   
   
2. Ludus
   Described as “playful love”, ludus consists of your everyday flirtations and teasings. When a couple that might be romantically interested are stuck in the “talking” phase — where they dance around their feelings without making a move — they’re experiencing ludus. This love can exist between friends, or even strangers. Witty banter commonly occurs with ludus.
   
   Many Shakespeare plays feature characters in ludus. In Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick and Beatrice throw quips back and forth, fueled by secret affection. Mercutio from Romeo & Juliet might also be in ludus, there for a good time and to put a smile on Romeo’s face.
   
   
   
3. Philia
   This love blossoms from deep rooted bonds of friendship. The friendship bond, or brotherly bond, most likely originated on the battlefield. Soldiers who trained and fought together would share a special connection and love for one another. Today, it also applies to your best friends. If you share common interests, if you make time out of your day to hang out with them, and so on, you might be in philia.
   
   Epic poems such as The Odyssey and The Iliad contain plentiful examples of philia. One could make an argument that Achilles experiences philia (but of course, this is up for debate).
   
   
   
4. Pragma
   You know those old couples you see that still carry a spark similar to young lovers? Those people might be in pragma. This love is the long withstanding kind that endures through hardships and trials. People in pragma fully commit to each other, helping each other reach their greatest potential and compromising when necessary.
   
   This one’s for the couples that celebrate 30, 40, and 50 year anniversaries. It’s a love that takes effort, but with a large payoff.
   
   
   
5. Agape
   A “charitable” love, agape can be found in religious texts around the world — though not necessarily explicitly stated. This love is selfless and empathetic. Agape extends out to everyone around you, strangers or otherwise. It’s constant and radical — loving every person equally? What a concept.
   
   But religious figures such as Jesus and Buddha demonstrate a form of agape. The phrase “love your neighbor as yourself” aligns with agape. Throughout religions, this selfless love is an end goal of the faith.
   
   
   
6. Philautia
   The other side of the coin to agape, or possibly even a stepping stone. This love focuses on the self — once you love yourself, it’s easier to love those around you. With the resurging self-love movement of today, philautia might be more easily obtainable.
   
   However, there’s a danger of slipping into narcissism. This form of philautia can harm yourself as well as others. The ideal philautia nurtures the self, boosts confidence, and empowers oneself.​​

​Ian Hebeisen

is a writer based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Graduating in May 2020 with a degree in English Literature with a Writing Emphasis, Ian writes comics, poetry, and scripts. He is currently an intern for The Brain Health Magazine and aims to work in the comic publishing industry. In his spare time, Ian plays Dungeons & Dragons, board games, and bass guitar. 

MORE BY THIS AUTHOR: 

• The Magical Mundane in My Neighbor Totoro
• Smell: The Forgotten Sense 
• A Reminder to Balance Action and Word Play
• The Pros and Cons of Writing One Poem a Day 
• Advice From Writers So Obvious It’ll Leave You Shooketh
• The Recurring Snow in Craig Thompson’s Blankets​
• ​Three-Act Structure in Terms of Character